Are You Putting Yourself Last? The Cost Could Be Your Ret...

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Are You Putting Yourself Last? The Cost Could Be Your Retirement Security

If you're part of the sandwich generation, it's critical that you don't let the needs of your aging parents come at the expense of your future. Here's how to address the issue.

By Kelly LaVigne, J.D. published 19 December 2025 in Features

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An older man in a wheelchair, his adult daughter and her young daughter smile as they talk in the living room.

(Image credit: Getty Images)

Caring for both your aging parents and young children is tough.

It can be an overwhelming drain on your time and your finances, and attending to their needs often means putting yourself last.

One in four Americans (25%) are part of the sandwich generation with a child under 18 and a living parent, according to the 2025 Annual Retirement Study from the Allianz Center for the Future of Retirement*, part of Allianz Life Insurance Company of North America.

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Nearly half of Millennials (46%) and 18% of Gen Xers have dual responsibility for kids and parents.

While it's good to care for loved ones, it's important to not let their needs come at the expense of taking care of yourself. When it comes to your long-term finances, putting yourself last can have a costly effect down the road.

Costly effect of dual caregiving

While it might feel as if it's your responsibility to care for everyone, it's important to keep your best interests in mind for your long-term security.

What's worrisome is that the majority of Americans in the sandwich generation said it is affecting their finances. Three in four of them (75%) said it's hard to juggle their financial needs and goals because they're caring for children and parents.

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The author of this article is a participant in Kiplinger's Adviser Intel program, a curated network of trusted financial professionals who share expert insights on wealth building and preservation. Contributors, including fiduciary financial planners, wealth managers, CEOs and attorneys, provide actionable advice about retirement planning, estate planning, tax strategies and more. Experts are invited to contribute and do not pay to be included, so you can trust their advice is honest and valuable.

In addition, 70% of Americans in the sandwich generation said taking care of their child(ren) and parent(s) simultaneously has had a significant impact on their retirement plans.

What's more, 59% said they've reduced or stopped contributing to retirement savings accounts due to having to financially support both their children and parents.

This is one of those airplane mask situations — secure your own oxygen mask before assisting others. You need to prioritize yourself to support anyone else. In particular, forgoing saving for retirement now can have costly consequences later.

The risk of neglecting retirement savings

Millennials and Gen Xers who are part of the sandwich generation might feel as if they have plenty of time to financially prepare for retirement. But waiting to put money aside for retirement comes at a great cost.

For example, consider the cost of lost compounding. Time is one of the most powerful tools for amassing retirement funds because of compounding. Delaying savings means giving up years of this exponential growth.

There are other benefits that can add up over time. You might lose out on the tax benefits of growing funds in tax-deferred accounts, such as a traditional 401(k), or tax-free accounts, such as a Roth IRA, or miss out on matching retirement funds from your employer.

Reducing or stopping retirement savings could compound the lost opportunity for growth if your employer matches contributions to a retirement savings account.

Maintaining retirement contribution levels to always receive the full employer match is a smart way to make all the money you're setting aside for retirement work harder for you.

Neglecting retirement savings poses a risk to your future lifestyle. Less money set aside for retirement could lead to a lower standard of living in retirement, working longer to make up for savings or more aggressive savings to catch up and stay on your desired retirement timeline.

You could also become a burden to your children — possibly creating another sandwich generation.

Make a plan now

If dual caregiving is part of your reality now, creating a financial strategy that accounts for that responsibility while maintaining your financial priorities is key.

When feeling squeezed financially, the first step is always to assess current spending to see if there are expenses to cut. Budgeting and reducing spending can help, but it often won't be sustainable for long-term needs.

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You may also want to look into how your parents could use their existing assets. Your parents may have a life insurance or annuity policy that offers, potentially at an additional cost, long-term care benefits or other ways to potentially draw money from the policy to help them through financial stress.

A financial professional can help you design a strategy that balances your competing priorities to care for your kids and parents now without neglecting your financial future.

Balancing the demands of dual caregiving on your finances requires thoughtful planning because caring for both your kids and aging parents doesn't have to derail your long-term financial goals.

Prioritizing your own financial security will allow you to support your loved ones. The key is to develop a financial strategy that can ensure that you can care for your loved ones today and care for yourself tomorrow.

* Allianz Center for the Future of Retirement conducted an online survey, the 2025 Annual Retirement Study in January/February 2025 with a nationally representative sample of 1,000 Respondents age 25+ in the contiguous U.S. with an annual household income of $50k+ (single) / $75k+ (married/partnered) OR investable assets of $150k+.

Four Financial Steps That Can Help the Sandwich Generation Cope
How to Support Your Parents Without Derailing Your Finances
Caring for Aging Parents: An Expert Guide to Easing the Financial and Emotional Strain
Three Steps Help Ensure Your Money Lasts in Retirement
Four Things Gen Xers Can Do Now to Reach Retirement Goals

Annuities can help meet long-term retirement goals by offering tax-deferred growth potential, a death benefit during the accumulation phase, and a guaranteed stream of income at retirement.

Annuity guarantees are backed by the financial strength and claims-paying ability of the issuing company.

Withdrawals taken within the contract withdrawal charge schedule will be subject to a withdrawal charge. All withdrawals are subject to ordinary income tax and, if taken prior to age 59½, may be subject to a 10% federal additional tax.

The Allianz Center for the Future for Retirement produces insights and research as a part of Allianz Life Insurance Company of North America.

Allianz Life Insurance Company of North America (Allianz Life), one of the Ethisphere World's Most Ethical Companies®, has been trusted since 1896 to help millions of Americans prepare for financial uncertainties and retirement with a variety of innovative risk management solutions. In 2024, Allianz Life provided additional value to its policyholders via distributions of more than $18.6 billion. Allianz Life is a leading provider of fixed index annuities, registered index-linked annuities, and indexed universal life insurance. Additionally, Allianz Investment Management LLC (AllianzIM), a registered investment adviser and wholly owned subsidiary of Allianz Life, offers a suite of exchange-traded funds (ETFs). Allianz Life and AllianzIM are part of Allianz SE, a global leader in the financial services industry with more than 157,000 employees in nearly 70 countries. Allianz Life is a proud sponsor of Allianz Field® in St. Paul, Minnesota, home of Major League Soccer's Minnesota United.

Disclaimer

This article was written by and presents the views of our contributing adviser, not the Kiplinger editorial staff. You can check adviser records with the SEC or with FINRA.

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Kelly LaVigne, J.D.Vice President, Advanced Markets, Allianz Life

Kelly LaVigne is vice president of advanced markets for Allianz Life Insurance Co., where he is responsible for the development of programs that assist financial professionals in serving clients with retirement, estate planning and tax-related strategies.